Introduction by Janet Hensel, NFDA Digital Media Manager ─ Being in the funeral service industry, the topic of death comes up, well, a lot – no surprise. But what did surprise me is how talking about death with Jody Olinger ─someone who is so kind, caring and passionate about telling a person’s story ─ left me inspired, about life and death.
Jody Olinger, NFDA Member Services Representative ─ Certified Celebrant
What inspired you to become a certified celebrant?
I’ve been involved in deathcare for 15 years. I started volunteering at the hospice where my dad died. Next, I became a certified death doula and then earned a grief counseling certification. I began working at a funeral home where I could use all my death degree skills.
When I came to work at the NFDA, it was a natural fit because I like customer service and I understood the funeral profession. I learned I could take classes at NFDA, which was great because I love to learn. The first class I took was Certified Celebrant Training and I quickly realized what Glenda Stansbury was teaching was what, to me, a funeral should look like. What I learned from Celebrant Training is you are a storyteller. You’re telling this person’s story and you make a commitment to the family that you are going to tell their loved one’s story – and it turns out I love it.
Why do think a celebrant is so important?
I think telling a person’s story helps their family and friends grieve and say goodbye. I worked with a young woman whose mother died and she sent me note afterwards thanking me for telling her mom’s story. She said for just a short while, it was like mom was back with her, and she got to think about all the fun things and share those with people who maybe didn’t know these things about her mother.
Nothing takes away the sadness but when someone can have a positive experience during a very difficult time, that’s impactful. I think celebrating someone’s life helps the grieving process. I like to think that death is not just the end of a life, but part of the whole story.
Why is this a passion of yours?
Becoming a celebrant is a passion that I didn’t know was in me. I’m so glad I’ve taken this path. It has brought together my experiences around death and provided a way for me to help others through their death journey.
What’s it like to be a celebrant?
Being a celebrant is very important but requires a certain level of respect. You are entering someone else’s personal space and you’re there by invitation. Many families have no idea where to start so I often ask, “Who is this person?” I listen and ask more questions and get to know the person.
Maybe the person was in a jazz band. Would you like jazz music playing during the visitation? Once the family starts sharing details about their loved one, we can talk about ways to honor that person. I feel this is where the value of a funeral is realized, when the family can see their loved one in the details of the service.
I sometimes talk to living people about what they want at their funeral. I met with a man in his hospital room. He had asked the funeral home if he could talk with me. I asked him why, and he said, “Because you gave my Karen the farewell that I wanted her to have”. So, he wanted to talk to me about what his funeral was going to look like.
I also share information with the funeral directors I work with. As I meet and plan with the family, I may uncover needs and wants that the family might not have shared yet with the funeral director. That’s an opportunity for me to collaborate with the funeral director so we can get everything right.
Why have celebrants become popular?
More and more people don’t see themselves in the typical “traditional” kind of funeral. The trend of people not belonging to a church or specific faith has created the need for celebrants. Many funeral traditions are connected to religious beliefs. Remove those guidelines and now we have an opportunity to provide a service tailored to memorializing that person while still providing an outlet for the grieving family.
The funerals I walk away from that I feel the most consoled are the ones where I’ve learned about the person. Or maybe I don’t know the person all that well but I’m there supporting somebody who did. What a great gift to me to learn about them. That person lived, they had a reason for being here, let’s share the stories that celebrate that life.
I think that’s why a lot of people say, “I don’t see the value of a funeral.” They’re not being presented with the options that show the value to them.
Someone who loved to bowl might want their funeral at a bowling alley. A friend of mine is planning his funeral, and he wants it at the museum he is heavily involved with. The place has purpose and meaning and reflects the person being honored as much as the stories shared at the service.
We all want to be seen, even in death, and it makes me sad when people don’t do anything because that person lived, they had a reason to be here, and that should be celebrated.
There is one story I told that still makes me smile when I think about it. I visited with a sweet old lady in a nursing home, she was visibly upset, and she told me “they” don’t let her drive anymore. Then she asked me to get in close, and quietly shared that her granddaughter came, picked her up and took her to a place where she could drive. The smile on her face and in her eyes were priceless. I shared this story at grandma’s funeral and it was such a gift to everyone, especially the granddaughter.
Stories are people’s legacy and celebrants have the honor of sharing them. I’m so glad I took Celebrant Training and discovered this passion.
“I could talk about death for days.” ─ Jody Olinger
Are you interested in becoming a Certified Celebrant?
NFDA offers two upcoming training programs.
June 19-21, NFDA Headquarters, Brookfield, WI ─ Registration open
October 18-20, 2024 NFDA International Convention & Expo, Pre-conference, New Orleans, LA (Registration opens soon)
Learn more