A Brush With Death

Clutter vs. Keepsake: Finding the Legacy in a House Full of "Stuff" (with Katarina Blom & Ella Engström)

Tue, 12 May 2026 05:05:00 GMT

About the Episode: We live in an era of peak accumulation, and families are inheriting more than just memories—they are inheriting mountains of unwanted belongings. This "clutter crisis" is adding unprecedented logistical stress to the grieving process, leaving families exhausted before they even reach the arrangement room. How can funeral professionals help bridge the gap between grief and garbage?

In this episode of A Brush with Death, host Gabe Schauf sits down with psychologist Katarina Blom and professional organizer Ella Engström, experts from The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning. They explore the deep psychological anchors of our possessions, the cultural differences in how we handle estates, and the physical roadblocks families face when clearing out a home.

Gabe, Katarina, and Ella discuss how modern funeral homes can evolve from traditional service providers into "Legacy Curators." Listeners will learn how to identify clutter burnout during the arrangement conference, the practical value of the "Legacy Box" model, and how to build a trusted referral network to act as the "General Contractor of Grief." Whether you're looking for fresh preneed talking points or innovative at-need service opportunities, this episode provides actionable strategies to offer families the ultimate final gift: peace of mind.

About Katarina: Katarina Blom is a Swedish psychologist, author, and keynote speaker — best known to American audiences as the resident psychologist on Peacock's hit series The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, narrated by Amy Poehler. On the show, she helped people across the U.S. do more than clear out their closets — she guided them through the emotional weight behind what they were holding onto, and why letting go can be one of the most life-affirming things we do. Often called Sweden's "happiness psychologist," her TEDx talk on happiness has been viewed nearly five million times worldwide.

About Ella: Ella Engström is Sweden's most well-known expert on döstädning — Swedish Death Cleaning — and is recognized by audiences worldwide from Peacock's hit series "The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning."

As a Swedish organizer, interior designer, and TV host, she is the CEO and founder of Engsroom AB and creator of the Room²-method — a unique approach to decluttering that goes far beyond organizing. Ella helps individuals remove the clutter that holds them back, both in their homes and in their lives, and teaches how to create supportive structures so that everyday life can truly flow. Warm, practical, and deeply human — she will inspire you to live fully in the present and make space for what truly matters.

Bonus from Ella: After recording, Ella reached out with some additional information. Here are some thoughts that can help families or individuals get started with the process. Whether you're sorting through your own belongings or going through a loved one's things, these questions can be a gentle way in.

One of the key principles of death cleaning is that it's not just about things, it's about sharing meaning and memories while you still can. That's what makes it so much more than organizing.

If you're sorting through your own belongings:
1. Start with one room, one category, not everything at once.
2. Do I use it? Do I love it? Does it make my heart sing?
3. Have I used this item in the last 12 months?
4. If I didn't have this — would I buy it again today?
5. When I hesitate about something, I ask myself: do I really want to deal with this again later or can I make the decision now?
6. If I'm still not sure, can I give myself 30 or 60 days before deciding? (The Dilemma Box method)
7. What do I actually want to pass on, and to whom?
8. Is there someone in the family who would truly treasure this?
9. What would make this home easier for the people I love, if they one day had to go through it?
10. What do I want my belongings to say about the life I lived?

Key reminder: if the things you own start draining your energy instead of adding value, that's a sign it's time to take action.

If you're helping a family member or going through a loved one's belongings:
1. What does this object mean to me — or what did it mean to them?
2. Am I keeping this out of love, or out of guilt?
3. What would feel like truly honoring this person — keeping everything, or keeping what really matters?
4. Is there someone in the family who would treasure this more?
5. Am I in charge here? (Yes you are. You have the right to make these decisions.)

Remember: the memories of a loved one live in your heart, in the stories you share, and in the love they gave you — not in the objects they left behind.

And letting go isn't about forgetting the past — it's about making space for the present and for what's ahead.

Dare to have conversations with each other while you still can. It's actually a beautiful thing to discover what truly matters to the people you love. You might be surprised by what you find out.

And remember: sorting through your own things is one of the greatest gifts you can give the people you love. Sparing them from that burden is an act of love and that's really what döstädning is all about.

An Unexpected Calling Through Loss

Tue, 24 Oct 2023 06:10:00 GMT

Sponsored by:

15 years ago, Janet McGee left the funeral profession due to burnout. In 2016, a very unexpected loss reignited Janet's passion to not only return but to take on the role of funeral educator. In this episode, Janet shares her story with host, Gabe Schauf, and brings attention to a cause that she has been a big part of since that loss.

Janet McGee is an instructor at the Mortuary Science program at the University of Minnesota. She graduated from the University of Minnesota's School of Mortuary Science in 2002 and worked as a licensed mortician for six years. In 2008, she began working at one of the largest banks in the U.S. and while there, attained her MBA.

When her 22-month-old son, Ted, died tragically in 2016 from a furniture tip-over incident, she left her corporate career behind to advocate for furniture tip-over prevention. She played an integral role in forming Parents Against Tip-overs in 2018, a 501(c)3 that advocates to end deadly TV and furniture tip-overs on children, and currently serves as their Director. Janet has served on the advisory council for Safe Kids Minnesota for several years and is the author of the children's book, "Visiting Ted in Heaven." She was instrumental in helping pass national legislation in 2022 that improved and made mandatory the safety standard for clothing storage units (CSUs) in the U.S.

Janet is an active member of the ASTM International sub-committee F15.42, an organization that sets the safety standard for CSUs. She is a Minnesota licensed mortician and a member of the National Funeral Directors Association.

The Loss of a Child

Tue, 14 Jun 2022 14:06:13 GMT

This timely episode focuses on the new resource for funeral homes and families entitled, When a Child Dies: Planning Acts of Love and Legacy. This is a collaborative effort of the Funeral Service Foundation and the National Pediatric Palliative Care Coalition.

In Loving Memory: A Child's Journey

Thu, 16 Jul 2020 12:20:00 GMT

Talking to a child about death and loss can be challenging and parents are often looking for resources to help. In this episode, Gabe Schauf sits down with Lacie Bruckner and Katherine Pendergast, co-authors of the “In Loving Memory” books, which teach children about funerals, cremation and the grief journey. Lacie and Kat share their inspiration for the books; provide ideas for talking to children about death; and suggest ways parents and funeral directors can involve children in the funeral.

Grieving Alone & Together Part 2: Your Questions Answered

Tue, 26 May 2020 16:38:00 GMT

In this episode of “A Brush With Death”, we pick up where we left off in the discussion featured in our last episode. Host Gabe Schauf teams up once again with Sara Murphy, Ph.D., certified thanatologist and expert on death, dying and bereavement, to answer your questions regarding grief during these unprecedented times. Topics include self-care, managing the phenomenon of “COVID fatigue”, and reinforcing the importance of the funeral director in times of mass fatalities. If you haven’t listened to Part 1 of this series, we highly recommend Episode #10 where Dr. Murphy discusses the impact Coronavirus is having on grief and loss.

She also introduces the new booklet entitled Grieving Alone & Together: Responding to the Loss of Your Loved One During the COVID-19 Pandemic, a free resource being offered by the Funeral Service Foundation and NFDA.

About Our Guest

Sara Murphy, Ph.D. is a certified thanatologist and expert on death, dying and bereavement. She teaches at the University of Rhode Island and conducts workshops and seminars on death, dying, and bereavement nationwide for professional organizations, schools, and community groups.

Grieving Alone & Together

Tue, 12 May 2020 16:35:00 GMT

This episode of “A Brush With Death” discusses the impact Coronavirus is having on grief and loss. Host Gabe Schauf talks with Sara Murphy, Ph.D., certified thanatologist and expert on death, dying and bereavement, about the impact the COVID-19 pandemic is having on both individual and cultural grieving. Sara also introduces a new booklet she authored called “Grieving Alone & Together: Responding to the Loss of Your Loved One During the COVID-19 Pandemic,” a free resource being offered by the Funeral Service Foundation and NFDA.

The first in a two-part series, listeners will be able to send questions regarding grief during these unprecedented times to abrushwithdeath@nfda.org.

Sara Murphy, PhD, CT, is a death educator, certified thanatologist (Association for Death Education and Counseling), and suicidologist. She is a faculty member at the University of Rhode Island and conducts workshops and seminars on death, dying, and bereavement nationwide for professional organizations, schools, and community groups. Dr. Murphy is the author of the NFDA booklet, “Grieving Alone & Together: Responding to the Loss of your Loved One during the COVID-19 Pandemic.”

The Cost of Caring

Tue, 10 Mar 2020 16:18:00 GMT

Today, we are going to be talking about burnout and compassion fatigue. While many in the death care profession hate to admit it, both are very present.

Fortunately, there are people out there working to educate us about those topics and how to deal with them… People like our guest today, Jason Troyer.

Dr. Jason Troyer is a grief expert, author, former psychology professor, and therapist. He helps funeral homes and cemeteries connect with their communities through his Facebook content and grief support materials. Dr. Troyer has been an expert speaker at several NFDA Conventions as well as state funeral service events. He provides community presentations, professional workshops, and trainings and is on staff at Smith Funeral & Cremation Service and Grandview Cemetery in Maryville, TN.

Dr. Troyer can be reached at DrJasonTroyer@gmail.com. More information can be found at JasonTroyer.com.

To learn more about disenfranchised grief, read this blog series by Sara Murphy on the Remembering A Life blog.

Disenfranchised Grief

Tue, 14 Jan 2020 17:09:00 GMT

Disenfranchised grief is the subject of this month’s NFDA podcast. Disenfranchised grief is grief not openly acknowledged, validated or publicly observed. Our guest is Sara E. Murphy, Ph.D., a faculty member at the University of Rhode Island in the Honors Program and Department of Gender and Women's Studies and an expert on death, dying and bereavement. Host Gabe Schauf will dive into the causes, effects and how funeral professionals can best serve clients struggling with it.

For more information about disenfranchised grief, read Sara Murphy's blog series on the Remembering A Life blog.