If your loved one suffered from a terminal illness, you probably have been living with death ever since you learned they were sick. Now that they are gone you may find you cannot cry anymore or even experience a sense of relief. This is nothing to feel guilty about. It is normal after a trying experience to be “grieved out” for a while.
During the illness your emotions probably ran the gamut. Everything from denying that your loved one was dying to feeling angry at them for not taking better care of themselves may have crossed you mind.
Other common reactions include bargaining with your personal religious god, offering to be a better person or trade places with your loved one, and blaming the doctors for not being able to cure the disease. You may even feel guilty for not insisting that your loved one see a doctor sooner, for past disagreements, or simply for being healthy when they are dying.
If your loved one kept getting better then suffering relapses, you may have been on an emotional rollercoaster ride, going through painful experiences over and over again. But there is something you can do to help you through this difficult time. Openly communicating your feelings with others can help you relieve at least some of your stress. When you are ready discussing your fear, anger, guilt, depression and other feelings will help.
In time, the grief will diminish. Death may remove the physical presence of a loved one, but they will continue to be a part of your life through the memories and feelings you keep.
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